Can you put a price on your dreams?

Quick clip of Heath Ledger’s performance in The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus.

My little love

This is the first time I’ve even felt able to write about Gracie’s death on this blog, and it happened more than two months ago. I had a dream last night that she came back; she wasn’t dead at all, she was staying with my brother. It almost seems unreal that she was ever mine, she was such an angel that it seems too lucky for words. I was so proud of her and miss her desperately every single day.

Bostonia

My move is approaching really rapidly and is already making me feel unsettled and rootless. I do think I’m making the right decision — in this economy, and after a layoff, it’s a bit foolish to turn down a job offer — but the prospect of leaving New York is making me feel uncomfortable. I love it here, I feel more right here than I have in any other town, and I’m so glad to discover that after living for so long in a town that was all wrong for me. So it’s also another loss to contend with — the most recent in a string of them. Oh, I know I’ll like it once I get there, and I can’t wait to have my own apartment, to get a little cat, to start this new job. But it is bittersweet.

Risotto

I made this risotto the other night and it turned out so well! Thought I’d share the recipe. Of course, as a risotto it takes a LOT of stirring and babysitting, but it’s worth it!

Colm Tóibín at Book Court

Molz and I went to see Colm Tóibín read from “Brooklyn” tonight; I loved his reading style, such a good actor, but so unself-conscious about that talent. He is adorable, like Mr. Potato Head, wearing fabulous red half spectacles that snapped apart in the middle. I bought a copy of the book and bolted to the front of the room the second he announced that he was finished with questions, so I was near the head of the line for the signing. Good stuff. Then we went over to Apartment 138 for yummy hearts of palm salad, salmon, and the most amazing oreo chocolate mousse. Exactly the kind of night I’m going to miss so much when I move. But Boston will have its own charms.

Lucille Clifton, genius

Just stayed with a friend who has this poem taped to the back of her bathroom mirror, and it reminded me of poetry classes from a lifetime ago. I’d forgotten how amazing Lucille Clifton is.

What the Mirror Said

listen,
you a wonder.
you a city
of a woman.
you got a geography
of your own.
listen,
somebody need a map
to understand you.
somebody need directions
to move around you.
listen,
woman,
you not a noplace
anonymous
girl;
mister with his hands on you
he got his hands on
some
damn
body.

Balls

I just wrote a long post about Nan Goldin and Joseph Stella, but WordPress decided to eat it. So all you get is a line from a T.S. Eliot poem, which inexplicably was the only thing that successfully saved.

So yeah — balls. Bedtime.

Winter noon

Unreal city

Under the brown fog of a winter noon

Things about me (swiped from Facebook)

1. I love finding funny typos on menus. Favorite thus far: Steamed dumpings. I’m all set, thanks.
2. I once climbed a cliff in Iceland and got stuck. Then the vertigo started.
3. I used to leave bowls of milk out in our back garden for hedgehogs to drink.
4. I would rather stay single than waste a second with the wrong man.
5. I have a bad track record with fish, but my current ones have been alive for more than a year.
6. I once ate apples backstage with King Missile.
7. I’ve lived in the U.S. for 22 years, but am still a British citizen.
8. When it comes to people, I know when to fold and when to double down. It wasn’t always that way.
9. I get overly emotional when forced to drive a car.
10. I once called in sick from work and went to Brussels.
11. A clown once hit on me in a bar. He was not in his clown garb at the time. He made me balloon animals as a love offering.
12. I sneeze three times after every shower. I don’t know why.
13. I don’t like living in a separate country from my parents.
14. I read obsessively about royal women from the past, and find it sad that such strong people were used as pawns.
15. I used to wish my name was Lucinda.
16. I love Saturday mornings in Brooklyn, with dog walks, coffee, bagels, and sunshine.
17. If I’m ever financially able, I will adopt a child.
18. I met one of my lifelong best friends at Pennsylvania’s state spelling bee finals in 6th grade. I remember the words we got eliminated on and have never liked them since.
19. I miss my friends in D.C. a lot, but I don’t miss the city at all.
20. Sometimes I feel bad about that — but then I remember that the city doesn’t have feelings.
21. I wish I was more patient.
22. I don’t understand why anyone would choose to go caving.
23. I could live on potatoes alone.
24. When I get nervous, I talk in circles.
25. I can only write good articles when in a serious time crunch, highly caffeinated and listening to loud trance music.

At last!

My Barack has come along! (Plus, I like the dress).